Rhymes With Nothing

aye mane lemme eat that - I put in a lot of effort for my family

When I was looking up quick vegetarian pizza recipes online I found way too many involving ranch dressing

you people are FUCKED

so I made my own

1 12 in Kroger crust

2 large tomatoes (roma)

1 can of mushrooms

Some basil from your personal garden. Oh you don’t have any? Well… basil. Or spinach, it doesn’t matter to me.

A few handfuls of mozzarella cheese

1/2 can of jumbo olives

Optional Ken’s Italian dressing that you got on sale

Sawce

Mumble around the kitchen sleepily for a few minutes while waving a butcher knife. Take your pizza crust out and put it back up for a minute.

Slice your tomatoes & olives, drop em in a tupperware container. Mutilate your basil, kiss it, then chop the well-rinsed off leaves. Drop em in the container. Chop up your onions using some fancy advanced chef techniques you saw on the Cooking Channel. Drop em in the container. Drizzle with your optional dressing at this stage then put em in the fridge.

Realize you have nothing to do for about 10 minutes and wash dishes or something, be productive! Oh & preheat your oven according to your crust directions (if you don’t have any for some reason 450-500 never hurts. I cook extreme).

Start saucing your pizza up. Layer down with cheese, take your other toppings out of the fridge and layer em up. Shove your pizza in the oven for about 7-10 minutes depending on how crispy you want your crust (alternatively, broil). Take it out with an oven pan & a spatula in some extremely complicated maneuver and enjoy!

I actually TRIED to get a picture of this one but my family wrecked it before I did so… I have some PB&J pics coming up soon :/