Rhymes With Nothing

demon month calendar

So, you may not know it, but before I became a Real True Life Atheist (TM) I was all up in the works of St Augustine and shit. I do not remember what drew me to him specifically but I swear to you I read City of God unironically. Could not tell you what I gained from it. Same with Aquinas. 

Then I got over it and started reading religious works as literature and so on and so forth. I got into demon and angel classification and castes because when I read stuff by 16th-18th century Christian philosophers (I guess now we’d consider them super fringe) they were pretty obsessed with it.

Demon classification is still a hobby sometimes. My favorite was the astrology based demon month calendar. It looks like this

Belial - January
Leviathan - February
Satan - March
Belphegor - April
Lucifer - May
Berith - June
Beelzebub - July
Astaroth - August
Thammuz - September
Baal - October
Asmodeus - November

Moloch - December

Keep in mind Baal and Tammuz aren’t… even actually “demons” so I don’t know where that came from because I can’t seem to find who actually came up with this system (it didn’t seem very popular compared with, say, organizing by sin). Detailed chart I scared up. Now you’re saying “Okay great so Satan or Astaroth is fucking up my month, what do I do with this?” Why do people organize anything? In an attempt to control them, of course.

As for what you do with this. Well you either pray to your demon of choice. OR pray to your… saint of choice if you’re not into demon worshiping (but don’t pray to the wrong saint on the wrong month or day). And if you’re not into either of those, stay pressed I suppose