Well well well. It’s my nuclear family’s birthday month. We get an interesting one:
Astaroth (sometimes Astarte but that’s not really correct and let me tell you why) is someone you’ve probably heard of if you’re really into death/doom/dark metal because they mention him a lot. Who knows why? I guess it’s better than boring ol’ Satan. He even gets a shout out in a Disney movie. He popped up in Hellboy a few times and a buttload of games, but I think I remember him most from the manga Angel Sanctuary (which I hesitantly recommend).
So, it seems you reference Astaroth when you want to show that you know some real live demon occult shit, but who is he? Who is he indeed…
Astaroth comes to us from Phoenecian mythology, his name is derived from the fertility goddess Astarte and I hope you’ve heard of her (equivalent to Ishtar). Some modern depictions have him with the ability to switch between male & female form but he’s usually just a nekkid dude with wings.
What does Astaroth do? Well, my fellow Liberal Arts majors, this is our patron demon because he is a purveyor of knowledge and the arts, past & future events, and is just a bit emo according to Plancy’s Dictionnaire Infernal.
How do you summon him? According to Solomon he is best caught on a Wednesday with use of an enchanted ring, but don’t let him get too close because he has murderous breath. Literally murderous. On the other hand, if you need protection please pray to St Bartholomew and carry Tic-Tacs.
Yeees breathing life into my project again since I have a few months left. I pushed this one back to the end of the month because a lot of shit went on this month (family tiiiime), but the good news is now the next few months will autopost. Also the tag is now in my byline header thing for convenience.
What vexed you this month? Bodily possession? Temptation? Flies? It was probably the fault of Beelzebub.
Beelzebub is NOT a synonym for the Devil but is a demon in his own right. He began life as a Semitic deity—some scholars think his name is a bastardization of a holy place or deity—and got absorbed into Christian canon, much like his bros/namesakes Ba’al and Belial.
Beelzebub owes most of his publicity to—wait for it—Milton’s Paradise Lost, where he was Lucifer’s second in command. I have heard that he presides over uncircumcised children but I’m not sure what book that comes from (in fact I’m pretty sure it’s Belial). I DO know that according to Solomon he brings war, lusts to priests (don’t they all), and encourages false idol worship.
As for summoning him, don’t call Beelzebub he’ll call you. According to scripture, he has this habit of possessing people for the lulz, so if you ever have or ever do find yourself overcome by him hit the local diocese.
This is great, because it leads into the demon of my birthday month and Beelzebub’s canonical bro, who is….
Well it’s a new month. DID YOU THINK I FORGOT? NO! I was just busy being angsty and shit that’s all. Buuut why am I angsty? Could it be… that this month’s demon has gotten hold of me? Who IS this month’s demon?
It is… BERITH
or Ba’al-berith or Baalberith. Sometimes he’s associated with Beelzebub who is NOT another name for Lucifer but another demon. Berith is a demon mostly acknowledged in Judaism and not so much in Christianity but he’s still… considered a demon in Christianity. Well, aren’t they all? In reality, he’s yet another Canaanite god that wasn’t necessarily good or evil before “becoming” evil when these old religions were sort of absorbed into early Christianity.
So what does Berith do? He tempts people to blasphemy and murder, which would really explain a lot for me this week. He’s also a bit of an alchemist and can turn things to gold. So if you want to kill a rival or make yourself rich or…blaspheme, you call on Berith. As for any particular saints who oppose him, I guess you’ll just have to pick a day and look for that saint.
And now, as a new experimental feature here, I will discuss summations according to grimoires dedicated to this sort of thing, under the cut. Please exercise common sense, trolol.
The demon presiding over May is the Fallen Angel, the Morning Star, the Devil Himself
It’s interesting to me that this calendar makes the distinction between Satan (March) and Lucifer. Considering that we often conflate Satan with Lucifer, not to mention that a Satan is hardly a demon, evil, or just one person/being. I BLAME MILTON
Lucifer is only a fallen angel but at some point he too became conflated with Ultimate Evil. Have you ever wondered what exactly makes Lucifer so “evil” anyway? Because he dared put himself on equal footing with God? Again, blame Milton for that too, lulz.
Unfortunately, since Lucifer is so caught up in identity politics he can’t help you do much this month except be mopey & maybe inspire you to fight The Man; he’s associated with air & the planet Venus from time to time. If you listen to Dante, Lucifer can’t actually do much anyway since he’s stuck in hell chewing on Judas & Brutus, clearly the two most evil men in history. If you need protection, pick a saint & a day. Lucifer isn’t going to give you mad skillz or anything unless your aspiration is to be William Blake. Maybe this month will be quiet for us all.
This month’s demon, by the way, is Belphegor. Belphegor is interesting in that
A) he used to be a deity (but not necessarily a good one) before getting absorbed into Christianity as a demon… like so many pre-Christian deities (see: Tamuz, Belial, Ba’al and so on)
B) Like Gremory he can take a male or female form depending on… well just depending really
C) HE’S THE FUCKING PATRON SAINT OF MISANTHROPES
So if you need some help hating humanity, call on Belphegor and he will help you this month. He also favors evil inventions so if you’re a mad scientist likewise call on Belphegor. Although I have no idea who the hell opposes Belphegor since he doesn’t seem to be associated with any saints so if you need help AGAINST him, err… fight with your bare hands
So, you may not know it, but before I became a Real True Life Atheist (TM) I was all up in the works of St Augustine and shit. I do not remember what drew me to him specifically but I swear to you I read City of God unironically. Could not tell you what I gained from it. Same with Aquinas.
Then I got over it and started reading religious works as literature and so on and so forth. I got into demon and angel classification and castes because when I read stuff by 16th-18th century Christian philosophers (I guess now we’d consider them super fringe) they were pretty obsessed with it.
Demon classification is still a hobby sometimes. My favorite was the astrology based demon month calendar. It looks like this